


Categorically Yours

by jaicubed



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, S2W
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22590403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaicubed/pseuds/jaicubed
Summary: Accustomed to being a regular guest of the S2W channel, Alex begins to question his relationship with Will when he's not invited to film any videos for three months and counting.
Relationships: Alex Elmslie/Will Lenney, ImAllexx/WillNE
Comments: 5
Kudos: 151





	Categorically Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this XO video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7quEFvVkpjo (6:47 :D)

"I think you're exaggerating; it can't have been that long." James took a bite of the apple in his hand and looked at Alex, unbothered. They should have been filming by this point, but Alex had gotten himself on a tangent and by the looks of it, it wouldn't be ending anytime soon.

"Look at the bloody channel, James. Go on, look." Alex crossed his arms and huffed. " _Exaggerating_. I would never."

James snorted. "Right." 

The bigger man sobered under Alex's glare and sighed, pulling up the S2W channel on his laptop. He scrolled through the videos until he saw Alex in one of the thumbnails and opened the video.

"See? October 20. It's February, James. It's almost been _four_ fucking months now. Tell me I'm exaggerating again, you prick," Alex said threateningly. 

"Watch who you're calling names there, mate, unless you want to get kicked off another channel," James replied. It had been a joke, but that was lost on Alex, who started to bite his thumbnail anxiously, his eyes wide. 

"Do you think he's actually kicked me off? Why would he do that? I'm the one who got people to actually subscribe to that fucking channel in the first place." Alex stood up from his chair in a fit of fury, the force of his movement causing it to roll across the floor and slam into the wall. He started pacing in front of the desk, his hands balled into fists. If Alex hadn't been so obviously distressed, James would have laughed out loud at Alex's resemblance to the Arthur meme. 

"My S2W videos get _tons_ of views, more than your stupid fucking airline passenger ones. And anything with George is automatically shite, obviously. And I've had him on _my_ channel, the absolute, fucking _twat_ -"

"Christ, don't get yourself all worked up, you'll pull a muscle," James cut in, holding up his hands. "Sit down."

Alex's anger left as quickly as it had come, and he retrieved the errant chair and slumped into it. He looked exhausted, and James wondered how long he'd been sitting on this bit of resentment. 

"He doesn't think I'm funny anymore. That has to be it."

"C'mon Alex, you were never funny."

"Thanks," Alex said drily, wrapping his arms around himself once again. He was drowning in an oversized black hoodie, one that James recognized as a very old piece of WillNE merch, and he looked so pathetic that even James couldn't continue taking the piss.

"Here's an idea for you. Why don't you just _ask_ him why he hasn't had you on?" James suggested, feeling like he was talking to a small child.

"Brilliant idea, James. I hadn't thought of it until now. Really putting your uni degree to good use." Alex rolled his eyes. "I can't just ask him. It's awkward. He'll think that I think that I expect to be in his videos."

"Well, you kind of do," James pointed out. "Didn't you just say it was _your_ channel? That you made it what it is?"

"Of course I did. But that's not what I mean. I mean, he'll think I expect to be on because...we're, you know...dating."

James shrugged. "Well, I think that's fair. I imagine he's shite in bed, so you deserve to get something out of this." 

"James, I'm trying to be serious here," Alex sighed. He looked up at the ceiling, and James could practically hear the voices in his head coming up with conspiracy theories. For someone who was usually very direct, Alex had the bad habit of dwelling in "what ifs." And the only thing for it was to pull him out. 

"I don't know what you want me to say. I can't begin to imagine why the man makes the decisions he does, and I think it's stupid to sit here waffling about it. Grow some balls and ask him or shut up. I really can't be arsed," James said, turning back to his laptop. "Let's film."

"Such a supportive mate. Got me teary-eyed." Alex kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. "You're the only one I could talk to about this stuff, you know."

James knew that was true, for the most part. Only he and George were truly comfortable with the new relationship in their friend group, and George unfortunately had the emotional intelligence of a tea cup. But that didn't mean he had to tolerate Alex feeling sorry for himself when there was a very sensible solution to the problem.

"Don't know what talking there is to be done, between you and I anyway." James let Alex stew in that for a few minutes, until finally, the younger man sat up, swept the hair out of his eyes, and pulled his chair forward. James could tell he'd accepted his fate, of either letting it go or having the conversation, and he hoped it was the latter. Alex couldn't let things go for very long, and James definitely didn't want to revisit this particular topic. 

"You'd be shite at crisis management," Alex grumbled. "So empathetic."

"Since when is a man whinging about his boyfriend not thinking he's funny anymore- which isn't even true, by the way- a bloody _crisis_?"

"So. Empathetic."

_________________________

Intellectually, Alex knew James was right. In every other way, he was fucked.

The numbers all being the same- and the demand being the same (even more, to be honest, since they'd gone public) Alex could only come up with two possible explanations. 

1\. Will didn't think he was funny anymore.

2\. He was gearing up for a break up.

They'd only been together for a few months when they'd filmed that October video, and he'd understood the trepidation before then. It had been all extremely new territory, and they'd wanted to handle it as delicately as possible. But things had settled down, they'd managed to retain most of their fan base, and despite Will's initial fears, things were just like they'd been before. 

Mostly. 

There was some logic in keeping things separate. They didn't want people to think it was all a gimmick. They didn't want to become The WillandAlex Show. They had worked hard to build their individual channels.

But Christ, it had been four fucking months. They _lived_ together. It wasn't like it was logistically difficult to film a stupid video together. And what Alex felt like a girl for admitting, even to himself, is that he _missed_ it. Alex would be happy scraping the bottom of the Reddit barrel, _anything_ , to get things back to normal. 

Because he knew he was still funny. And breaking up simply wasn't an option. Not after everything they had gone through. 

___________________________________

"I'm fucking knackered," Will groaned, flopping into bed. "Don't know how Dobrik does it. Vlogging is bloody exhausting."

"Nah, it isn't. I think you've got low stamina," Alex replied automatically, immediately wincing inside. _Great. Insulting him before an important conversation. Brilliant._

"Oh? I think you were pretty well satisfied with my stamina last night," Will shot back. He rolled onto his side and grinned. "I'll remember that comment next time."

Alex ignored Will's rebuttal and set his phone on his nightstand, turning off the light. "Why were you vlogging, anyway?"

Will shrugged one shoulder. "Dunno. Bit of a change, I guess. People seem to like it."

Alex laid onto his side so that he was facing Will. He thought about the conversation they were about to have and he thought better of it, rolling over again onto his other side. He started to feel anxious, even as Will settled against his back and threw an arm over his waist. 

"Do you want to film with me tomorrow?" Alex asked tentatively. He'd thought carefully about how this would play out, and all scenarios pointed to this as the first step. 

Will yawned against the back of Alex's neck, sending a waft of toothpaste scent over his face. "Yeah, 'spose. Don't have anything else planned. What were you thinking about filming?"

"Something quick and easy. You know," Alex replied. _Something that won't scare you off_.

"Really branching out with your channel, then, aren't you?" Will commented, and Alex could _hear_ his smirk. "A real YouTube mastermind."

Alex ignored the sarcasm, choosing not to point out that Will had _vlogged_ today. He took a deep breath. "Actually, I was thinking we could film something for S2W." 

In reality, it couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like ages that Alex waited in silence for Will to respond.

"I already got George lined up for the next S2W video," Will finally said.

Alex had expected this type of excuse, which made him angrier the more he thought about it. Will didn't ever post on a schedule, so why did it bloody matter who he had "lined up next?" It was bollocks, and he wasn't going to let it slide this time.

"And you planned to film tomorrow?" Alex pressed, keeping his voice even.

"Well, no...but-"

"But what, then? It's been ages since we've filmed something together for S2W." Alex gritted his teeth, so hard his jaw hurt. He was so tense Will probably felt he was snuggling up to a wooden plank.

"It hasn't been that long." Will sounded confused, like he could understand that Alex was getting upset, but could not fathom why. _Stupid man_.

"It's been nearly four months," Alex shot back. "That's a long time, especially considering how often I was on before."

"Why does it matter?" Will asked, and Alex felt a rush of cold air on his back as Will pulled away. The bed creaked as he sat up. "You've always said the second channel is a load of shite. Why do you suddenly care whether or not you're in a video?"

"Because you said things wouldn't change." For all he was pissed off, he couldn't make himself turn to look at Will's ridiculous square face. "You _promised_ that things wouldn't change."

"That what wouldn't change? What the fuck are you on about?"

Alex closed his eyes, suddenly more terrified than angry. This was really the crux of the matter, and if Will dismissed him...what would he do? Years of effort and trust and friendship--down the fucking drain. 

"We used to be friends, remember?"

"'Course I remember. We still are," Will sighed, exasperated, like _he'd_ been the one in psychological torment all day, waiting for this conversation. 

"Are we, though? Because it seems like, despite everything you said, as soon as you started fucking me, I wasn't good enough to be in your videos. Ones that I used to be in all the time, as your _friend_."

When Will didn't say anything, Alex kept going. "You'd have literally anyone else on before me, and don't say you wouldn't. I haven't done that to you. _You_ changed things."

A small part of Alex almost wished they could go back to how things were before. Sure, he'd been miserable then- being in love with someone you thought you couldn't have wasn't exactly a walk in the park- but was it worse than now? 

"Is that what you really think?" Will asked quietly.

"What else am I supposed to think?"

Alex stared ahead, moonlight ironically reflecting off of Will's 1 million subscriber plaque hanging on the wall. He didn't have anything else to say. If the universe wanted to fuck him over again, he'd have to take it, right? 

He expected Will to leave, or to laugh. Those were his defaults. Escape from the situation, or turn it into a joke. But to his great surprise, he did neither.

"It just...didn't feel right to have you on. It crossed my mind, of course, but..."

Alex didn't interject, too surprised at Will returning to press himself against his back, his arm thrown over his waist. It was a few minutes before Will could speak again. 

"Those months, before Mia and I broke up...when you and I were filming all the time...they were some of the worst months of my life. I guess I just...didn't want to be reminded of it. Not yet."

Oh.

Alex felt like someone had violently twisted his entire body, so maybe he could fucking see another perspective.

He could imagine James' response to this story already. _So. Empathetic_.

Will didn't continue, but he didn't have to. The worst break up of his life, coupled with a burgeoning bisexual awakening? _That_ was a crisis. And it all came to a head during those months of churning out video after video, hours a day spent together, Will escaping one shit situation just to thrust himself into another, when things all became incredibly clear and incredibly _unclear_ at the same time. 

That time had been anything but simple for either of them, but it was a simple explanation to Alex's question. 

"So you still think I'm funny?"

"I'll kill you if you tell anyone, but...yes. I still think you're funny...funny-looking."

"Sod off," Alex mumbled, smiling despite himself. He sighed, thinking about the months he had wasted torturing himself over all this. "I feel like a twat."

"You are a bit of one, but I can't say much, because here you are."

"Are you saying I'm _your_ twat?"

Will grinned against the back of Alex's neck. "Categorically."


End file.
